I didn't think I was a control freak until about 2 weeks ago. I was waiting for a response from someone and I kept thinking, "Why haven't they written me back?" Once they did finally write back and I didn't receive the response I was hoping for, I got disappointed. Looking back, I have to think, "Why? Why was I disappointed?"
It's because deep down I needed to be in control of the situation. Luckily God--through his Word and the confirmation from my Sisters--helped me to realize that the situation is not mine to deal with. I did what I was told to do, and now it is up to the Lord to work in the hearts of those who needed to hear His words."I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow." 1 Corinthians 3:6-7
What a blessing it is to be used by God, though. To hear a distinct call and to have the courage to answer it. I haven't been this encouraged and refreshed for a long time. I hope that as I continue to study His word and spend time with Him, I will hear more from Him and be obedient to whatever He calls me to.
I was convicted the other day when I heard a woman in my Bible study talk about how she was afraid of continuing in the study because she thought that if she grew in her relationship with the Lord, then she would leave her husband "behind." Her husband apparently is a Christian, but limits his invovlement to attending church on Sunday.
How sad, I thought. I mean, my heart truly broke for this woman. Here she is, she knows what is right and what God wants her to do (study His Word, learn and grow), and yet she is hindered by the thought that he won't be in the same place as she is in her relationship with God.
I was so burdened by this woman's struggle, that I wrote an e-mail to many of my single girlfriends the next morning. I basically outlined the story and quoted 2 Corinthians 6:14-15:"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?"
I challenged my friends to seriously consider the consequences of not only marrying a non-Christian, but a "lukewarm" Christian. Yes, I know that women do it all the time. In their desire to marry, they settle for someone less than God's best for them. And though I'm sure the marriage is good, they do not find the spiritual support that they want or need.
My friend Rebecca read my e-mail and commented that it was well-written and that between this one and others I had sent to her recently, she was asking the Lord whether this could be a new ministry for me. As we talked, the thought stuck in my mind, and I haven't been able to shake it since.
So I decided to start this blog. First only for myself... to post thoughts and other things that the Lord is teaching me, and perhaps later to share. We'll see where He leads.
